Kampala 2nd of April - Day of arrival
On Monday morning it was time for the next part of my trip, taking me from J’Burg via Nairobi to Entebbe, Kampala. The luggage solution was very simple, nobody blinked and eye and despite extensive weighing before check in, my belongings made it through the checks without complaints. My conclusion: it’s the sandgropers! I guess you have to wear a Panama hat in WA in order to get away with things! (my Australian friends will understand what I mean with that)
Now I was expecting 4 hours flight to Nairobi, two hours stop over and 1 hour flight to Kampala. All in all quite a manageable thing. With reading and a bit of sleeping the first 4 hours went by. And in the process, I must admit, my luggage weight decreases. That is because I usually take about 15 or so editions of the Bulletin Magazine with me which I did not get around reading when they arrived. And once they are read, they are left on the plane. Such bulk reading habit has its advantages. You get a fairly condensed overview of things which happened over the last 3 months. You can also test the savvy of the political commentators and their predictions as to political and party developments, since you are in possession of hindsight.
We landed on time in Nairobi and I took a stroll down the shopping mall in the departure area and found a corner where smoking was welcome.
I don’t know a lot of African Airports except those of J’Burg, Cape Town, Nairobi, Addis Abeba and Kampala but they have something in common which I think is a bit typical for African if not developing countries.
Putting aside South Africa here, where the blandness of European Airport ‘culture’ has firmly taken hold, the others still have a very African feeling to them. Less gleaming and shrill as far as the presentation of the shops and rest places is concerned. In some corners you have the distinct feeling that the people working at the airport have established a little ‘home away from home’ Things at the check in are a bit more relaxed but also take longer for that matter.
Many of the fellow passengers seem to exude the ‘first time in the air’ flair, the expectations are vague and the excitement is palpable. The passengers are largely African and the few white people tend to stand out a bit. Upon entering the plane and finding my seat, a fellow passenger asks me how it comes that I am on a flight to Kampala and whether I stay or just stop over and pass through. And my confirmation that I stay for a while, come here regularly has him very excited and he welcomes me with a great smiling face to his beautiful country. A proud and welcoming Ugandan of which you find so many in and around Kampala.
The plane is scheduled to leave at 16.10 However, it seems that all the passengers had made it onto the plane well ahead of time. No one was missing, everything was ok, hence why not leave 20 minutes earlier! Indeed, why not! Ergo we arrived in Entebbe earlier as expected and my usual welcome committee was pleasantly surprised to see Jochen coming out from immigration at a time when the plane was scheduled to land.
The welcome was, as always, most heartfelt and boisterous with a large round of hugs from everybody. Unfortunately, Arnold could not be at the airport since he is suffering from a bout of Malaria. Unfortunately not an uncommon thing in Kampala.
Being night-time the drive into the city – around 60 km – has a few nightmarish aspects to it. Often you can’t see the pedestrians along the way or the bike riders who rarely use rear lights. Oncoming traffic often hits you with full beam and the occasional pothole disappears in the general colour of brown/black and therefor is a formidable test of endurance for car and passengers. But we make it in one piece to Masaka Road which for me is now very much a ‘coming home’ feeling.
Dinner is quickly made and two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc wait for me in the fridge! Before leaving Australia I always get a fairly long list of wishes and things needed most ‘urgently’ and which are – at least in their view – in Australia far cheaper, better and more readily available than in Kampala.
This time Issey Myiaki after shave topped the list, followed by some requests for new mobiles. And everyone also got a new STATUS QUO t-shirt this time.
And then there are those things, individuals can dream up, like Johnny wanting a t-shirt from the soccer team with “never say never” on the front. Jahim was eagerly awaiting a new DVD. And as a surprise there were a few gigantic packs of Toblerone in my luggage. Chocolate is a very rarely had luxury. And if I thought that those nearly 2 kg of Chocolate would, at least in some parts, see the next day, I was certainly mistaken.
This time around my visit to Kampala is somewhat disorganised due to the fact that I did not pay any attention to movable holidays in the planning early February. Hence it escaped me that Easter would fall into my 10 days, making four days unusable for any form of business. As a result, most of the meetings and business activity is concentrated on the Tuesday to Thursday before Easter. And there is only one business day left after Easter before I pack my bags again and head off towards Germany.
This kind of ‘compressed’ timing is not something which goes down well in the Ugandan psyche. It’s not so difficult to organise a meeting with ten people for Wednesday, but trying to organise it for Wednesday 13.30 to 15.30 is a totally different matter! But it, sort of, worked.
3rd April, 2007 - First day shopping
Tuesday was completely dedicated to God commerce. The first shopping spree is always the most exciting. And going through capital shoppers – our favourite grocery haunt – the diligently made list of things which we need is very quickly expanded like an overripe puff pastry to cover a lot of things – many in the beauty and personal hygiene department – which were not on our common list, but quite obviously on the individual ones!
And whilst our normal shopping outings to Capital shoppers would yield a bill around the 70.000 Shilling mark, this one hits the 300.000 Shilling with ease.
Having covered the day to day necessities at least for the next 24 hours, the extra requests are coming through. Two new Matrasses, two sets of bed sheets, three pairs of shoes, assorted underpants, new Sim-cards, an additional phone, 3 new Mozzienets. Barkley’s money tree – as we use to call the ATM machine – gets a very decent ‘run for its money’ in the truest sense of the word. Because shopping in Kampala is a matter of cold hard (in fact soft) cash. Nobody ever takes any plastic!
With our purchases loaded in the privately rented taxi van, we look a bit like removalists who have raided a large tract of bedrooms. And I will tell you, I am a bit exhausted after spending 6 hours in the city driving around like a mad man in the relentless traffic and with always the thread of larger than life potholes waiting for you on the way.
As we all know, tastes are a very individual thing. Once you move into a different culture, this becomes even more obvious. Johnny was one of the three who needed a new pair of shoes. And whilst Figaro had set his sight on a pair of Timberland boots and Ronald – the sensible guy he is – selected some fairly plain but stylish black shoes, Johnny was determined to make a foray into high risk fashion. The shoes he eventually came up with need to be seen to be believed. It’s hard to find the right words for these black and white monsters, squared off at the front with a protruding sole which looks like the bumper bars of a dodgy car. In my humble view (and fashion challenged as I am) they represent the greatest fashion sin since fat men discovered lycra. But the only thing which really counts is, that he is very very happy with them and wears them with great pride. What more do you want?!
A lonely bird
Being the time around Easter, many Ugandan families tend to buy a chook, or in this particular case a cock with a splendid set of feathers and, I am sorry to say, a very well developed voicebox.
My knowledge about chooks is limited as far as behavioural science is concerned, but I seem to remember that the cock of the flock would every now and then crow in order to show who is boss of the place. And this type of musical activity tends to be particularly strong in the early morning.
That, I guess is the time of the day where all the chooks, given their pitiful memory, are best reminded of the cock’s superiority in the yard.
This one here was, however, the lonely and only one in the yard. No chooks to impress or remind. But old habits are strong and his voice was too. I am used to hearing the Kookaburras around my house in the morning, just before sunrise. And their conversations can be very loud and plentiful for a while. But I always feel that their chatter has some meaning in that they are telling each other, what they are going to do during the day. But in the case of the lonely cock, the only effect it had was to wake me up at an ungodly hour.
At some point I had him stunned, though. As an act of revenge if you so want, I recorded some of his futile musical interludes and whilst he was picking his way through the yard, played the recording back to him. We have in Australia the expression of a ‘stunned Mullet’ well here it was the ‘stunned cock’. The poor bugger is still on the hunt for the rival who, by the looks of it, is cowardly hiding somewhere.
Some time last night, sitting outside the house and having a chat and a glass of wine with some of the boys, I suddenly seemed to smell the distinctive smell of burned feathers and skin. As we were approaching Easter Sunday, it seemed to be preparation time for the festive dinner. And as so many festive dinners, they can start a bit smelly. My waking up today in the early morning, though, told me that our lonely comrade was still around and in full possession of his proud set of feathers and voicebox. It appears that he is destined to be Easter Monday’s fair.
4th April, 2007 - HABEMUS CLIENTUS (we have a client)
My official start of the business (05/05/05) is almost two years in the past and as some kind of anniversary gift we scored our first client today – official with order and invoice etc –
The fact that it is a bank which pays us our first real money might be a good omen!
They bought one of our syndicated reports and since they have plans afoot to change some of their relation with customers etc. they might also shape up as one of our future clients.
As most things in this Ugandan enterprise, the start is modest and the sudden turnover does not even begin to cover cost BUT it is a start in a country where STATUS QUO – two years ago – was an entirely unknown entity. And market research for that matter did not count amongst the usual, common business activities either.
Apart from being welcome as a fact it is also a significant moral booster for my people here in Kampala (and for me I might add) which ‘proves’ that we can do it and achieve something meaningful here as a business.
We are ready for the flood gates to open!!
A taxing question
Now that business of the real world has made its appearance on STATUS QUO Kampala’s doorstep, it is time to establish the business credentials which means to register the business for various tax purposes and opening a bank account.
I had these plans for some time but the bureaucratic hurdles were always too high for me to take during my short visits to Kampala. And yes, I admit it, there was also always some kind of priority problem with that.
I do admit to some kind of ‘bank account overindulgence’ given the fact that I maintain 7 of these buggers with four Australian banks, plus one in Germany, one in Tokyo. And that does not count the credit card accounts. And most of these (except for Tokyo) can easily be managed via computer. Under these circumstances it may have seemed silly to open yet again another one in Uganda which I can only access by personally going there and where computer transfers, one or the other way, are impossible (as yet) My main account in Australia, on the bank website, does not even list UGX (Ugandan Shilling) as a viable currency.
A while ago I had written to some guy I know from KPMG Kampala to ask him to give me a quote for the process of establishing those official credentials. The quote came in at US$2,500.00 plus. That gave me a clear indication that those guys were charging me Sydney rates at Ugandan cost in US Dollar. The worst combination there is.
That sort of prompted me into some kind of ‘stuff you bastards’ reaction, I can do that myself cheaper.
In previous reports I have given you some inkling of the bureaucratic nightmares which the State Organs of Uganda can serve you with. Kafka would have his work cut out to describe these processes in realistic terms.
The Ugandan government is supposedly doing everything it can to fight tax avoidance. You would think that the first thing they do, is make registration of a business or individual as a future taxpayer a process as simple and pleasant as is humanly imaginable. I have to say the opposite is true.
My new found friends at Stanbic Bank – smelling success in gaining a new business client – have been very helpful and supportive in this process. However, the powers that be in the revenue department as the taxman is called here, were determined to teach little Jochen Holzrichter a lesson in futility and bureaucratic nightmare manufacture.
The thing started quite nicely with Clare, being an employee of the Bank handing me the required forms and introducing me to the gentleman of the revenue department – they have a cosy housing relationship – where I would lodge my forms. Seemed all quite simple indeed.
Having filled in all the forms over Easter, Moses and I went back to our revenue gentleman to present our case. After lengthy inspection of all the forms, some more requests for photocopies of my passport, some further copies of the registration certificate of STATUS QUO Kampala etc. etc. the revenue gentleman came with the first hammer. “Your office is in Rubaga (Suburb of Kampala) you have to go to the local Rubaga branch to get your TIN (Tax Identification Number) I can’t do anything for you”
Well that meant that all our careful investment in amenable human relationships were largely for zilch and we had to drive to the Rubaga division. Got the description of where the office is and with Moses local knowledge we found the office after about 45 minutes driving through the thick traffic of Kampala. Problem, they had moved recently and were now at the other end of this somewhat less than salubrious suburb. Back into the car and in search again of the new premises of the revenue department.
We found it and first had to wait for some time in the queue marvelling at the hundreds of cardboard boxes which were casually piled up in the back of the large venue (labelled VAT N, VAT M, VAT B,C) which basically means that the VAT (value added tax) forms from all the striving enterprises in Uganda where merrily packed up in boxes labelled A to Z. I don’t envy the business which wants to get any information on their VAT in the next couple of years.
Once we were invited to take our seats opposite our new revenue gentleman and our papers were again carefully inspected, we were given a number of additional tasks to conduct before we could be issued with one of those TINs which seemed to increase in value and desirability with every rejection.
One of the classic conditions was that we need a bank account BEFORE we can get a TIN. But the bank wants a TIN BEFORE we can get a bank account.
I had some flashbacks to the seventies when I read Zuckmayer’s Hauptmann von Koepenik. I could have adopted the Hauptmann’s type of approach and summons the liberally sprinkled military personnel around the bank building and command them up to the revenue department to get my TIN. My only problem was, my “uniform” was Australian, that means shorts and t-shirt and sandals. It would have looked very stupid and not very convincing seeing me prancing in front of those blue clad soldiers to the revenue department.
Hence Koepenick was not on. But at the moment I am lead to believe that I have produced enough copies of all sorts of official documents and signed my life away some fifty times, provided copies of my passport to plaster the entire Stanbic Building with, left countless passport photos all over the place that – 0ne day – my trusted operations manager Moses can work his way through this pile the Ugandan way and get us a TIN and a bank account. We will see.
The above was written about the time when the events took place. Now whilst I finish this report on the 10th June, 2007 about 2 months after our run through the bureaucracy of Kampala I can report, that as part of the process of issuing a TIN, the tax department has physically inspected our office on the 24th May and they have convinced themselves that this business really exists. (remember, we are trying to register in order to be able to pay our taxes as stipulated by the law of the land!!) On Friday I got the following e-mail from Moses.
Kampala June 8, 2007
Dear Jochen,
I have been to the URA (Uganda Revenue department) offices today in the morning. Got bad news for us! I just can't figure out what the psychology behind the disappearance is! I've just found out that our TIN application papers disappeared in the thin air under the watchful eyes of the URA people. Somebody, (I presume inspection officer) didn't hand them to the relevant desk after the inspection. It's unimaginable that we have to go through the same process again. I'm left wondering how these guys conduct their operations as there was no sign whatsoever of our company's name or your name in their database. It just beats my understanding. I'm totally confused!! The gentleman at the desk advised that the only alternative option at our disposal is to do the needful and just start all over again!!
Any comments? What do you think?
My response to the exasperated Moses
Dear Moses,
thanks for your e-mails. The TIN story is hilarious! As if I needed more Kampala reminders!!! (see below – the refers to our 24 hour electricity black out)
I guess we don't have a choice other than going through the filling in of forms again. As far as my signature is concerned, I will write a letter to the Taxman telling them that you have my authority to sign those forms in my name. The letter is attached. One thing – hurdle if you so want – has been taken in that we now have a bank account which supposedly is one pre-requisite for having a TIN. How's that for progress!!
Well dear reader, as you can see, the authorities in Uganda are absolutely hell bent to make paying taxes as easy as possible!!
Neighbourly relations
As you would know from previous reports, we have our office/house/communal kitchen in Masaka Road in a little compound where there are several neighbours living in the same place. Our house is a double, that means two parties under one roof.
Recently our immediate neighbours have changed and Grace moved in with a number of her kids or what seems to be her kids. Grace is a very outgoing, friendly and big woman with a very distinct and raspy voice and a laugh which can shake the walls of Jericho.
She comes from western Uganda and has a rural background mixed with some basic business acumen as well as a great social heart. Given the life circumstances in Uganda there are many orphans around, many of them due to AIDS but also other circumstances. Her three girls are infact adopted as babies and recently also one of her nephews, 19 year old James moved in.
Grace has become involved in selling, distributing Aloe Vera products. Kind of Avon Beraterin of the Aloe Vera variety. And it took not very long that we sat together and I turned from neighbour to business advisor. And like so many small business retailers she gets annoyed about the mark up by the whole salers and – easy as pie – wants to be come a manufacturer in order to circumvent the wholesaler.
In the Ugandan environment the manufacturing sector is basically divided in two main sections, one is primary production, that means fruit and vegetable which is almost completely de-centralised and industrial manufacturing which is fairly highly centralised. Food processing is somewhere in the middle. One can obviously think of some basic food processing, involving drying, dehydration and things like that which can be managed by small and individual enterprises – ie. de-centralised – but when it comes to large production, bottling, canning etc. it needs a lot of capital, machinery and things like that and that points to centralisation.
During our first visit/participation at the annual industrial fair in October 2005 I was very often confronted with those facts of life by farmers, who came to our stand at the fair and – not being too familiar with what a market research company does – asked me how can I help them to do better. And I often felt that the word ‘market’ in market research was the key to their confidence that I had all the answers to their questions. In those days the idea grew in my head that we might be able to set up some kind of agricultural advisory service with specific emphasis on marketing fruit and vegetable products. And my conversations with Grace somehow have revitalised that idea.
The upshot of this initial conversation was a two page write up for Grace on things which she might have to consider, find out or do in order to grow her business. And knowing Grace, she is going to come up with some market research questions.
Her nephew James very soon came with a similar kind of problem, though more fundamental and that is how can I get work. When I asked him, what sort of skills he might have or what his interests were, he thought that anything which needed some muscle power would be well up his alley.
It was somewhat a de ja vue feeling I had, reminding me of the time three years ago when I started with 12 guys and when most of their answers to that initial question would have been more or less the same. I get the feeling that we have got ourselves a new member in the group. Whether he will be able to do interviews, is doubtful at the moment. But then again, 3 years ago hardly any of them would have been able to do it and now than can do it and do it reasonably competently – some better than others – but it works.
4th April, 2007 Meeting under the trees
On Wednesday before Easter we have our Makerere University day. The main purpose this time is to prepare the foundation of a Uganda Market Research Society. I had started this process with a discussion paper which I produced in November 2006 and sent to all the committee members (14 of them) at MUBS (Makerere University Business School)
When I first sent the paper, I asked for some feedback within 30 days. This was obviously not to be, what was I thinking? After a bit of niggling and reminding, some summarised feedback arrived late in February. Based on that I prepared a second draft of the discussion paper which was now, early April, the basis for our discussion.
The Marketing Department of MUBS had moved to a new building and since meeting rooms were a bit small, we all gathered under a set of wonderful trees in the backyard. It was a bit of a coming and going meeting with people joining later or leaving earlier, but the core of the committee got through the proceedings within the planned two hours.
Being the ‘chairman’ of the meeting I had to be careful with the management of the discussion taking into account the cultural peculiarities of Ugandan society but also the academic bias. We managed to discuss most of the points and came to some form of consensus and it is no again up to me to prepare what I hope will be the second last draft before a final paper can form the founding basis for our society.
The setting in the backyard, under the beautiful trees obviously contributed to a calm and pleasant discussion and gave the whole affair a flair of informality which I do appreciate very much and which corresponds quite well with my nature and disposition towards these things.
I sometimes marvel at my bold decision to become involved in this, even having initiated it. If you know may general disdain for this type of organisation and my steadfast refusal to join any of those talk clubs in Australia or Europe it represents a very distinct reversal of my general attitude.
However, to be honest, I also hope that my role there will benefit my business in Uganda and enhance my ‘standing’ in the business community. And that would mean that ultimately it might help and benefit my boys in their dependence on income from STATUS QUO Kampala.
The plan now is to advance the organisation to a point where the society can be launched during my next trip to Kampala in September/October this year. My optimism is boundless!
Saturday 7th April, 2007 - Visiting the country side
During most of my visits to Kampala I would also set a day aside and drive with all the boys into the country side to visit Mum. As you might remember from previous reports, Mum is the mother of our friend Geoffrey who tragically died in a motorcycle accident in March 2005. And after his death, we have kind of adopted Mum into our group and I also support her financially every now and then when the need arises.
Mum lives some 60 km outside Kampala in a little village where she runs the village shop, selling drinks, food and small groceries. A while ago she has started building a house near Lake Victoria where she wants to start a chicken farm. About a year ago I contributed about ½ Million Shilling to get the house construction finished, so I have some interest to see what has become of the building.
The road to her village was always and still is fairly rough, certainly no tarmac, just a dirt road. And driving along this road you are limited to an average speed of about 15 to 20 k/hour. But progress does not stop, even not for the country side and they have recently smoothed out some of the big holes and cuts in the road so that the drive is becoming more comfortable and easier on car and driver.
However, most progress has also some downsides. And here it is the fact that the truck drivers now regard the road as a racing track and overtake the leisurely ambling tourist with hellish speed. And given the general nature of the road that means they cover you in a thick layer of red dust. I sometimes wished those big potholes back!!
Arriving at Mums place is always reason for a big and heartfelt welcome and a couple of drinks on the veranda in front of the shop. Being two small business people, Mum and I have a few things in common to chat about. And this time she is very eager to present to me her new house and the first couple of hundred chooks which she is housing there. So we set off towards Lake Victoria and after about 20 minutes drive arrive at the brand new brick building in the middle of nowhere. Indeed a fairly large building with several 'rooms' for several types of chicken – the young ones, the broilers and the ones which are taken to the weekly market in Kampala. That is a new source of income for Mum, to take her chooks to the Nakasero market in Kampala. And there is also a room where she can live and stay with her chooks if she is not attending the shop in the village.
The location of the house is splendid, on a little hill, looking towards the Lake which is only a few 100 meters away. All in all an idyllic and very peaceful country setting with wonderfully lush nature around and at the same time a welcome addition to her modest income stream. The often rhetorical question "what more do you need" comes to mind.
11th April, 2007 - The honeymoon is over
This is a well know expression amongst the guys and relates to the last day of my visit in Kampala. And it describes the fact that with my departure things in the kitchen, around the house and in relation to consumer desires are getting back to normal.
And normal means little money to spend. No more shopping sprees at Shoprite, no more minced meat, no more Sauvignon Blanc in the fridge. Everybody had gone through their ‘list of desirabilities’ over the last few days and managed to realise at least a few of their dreams, like a new pair of shoes, a matrass, some clothing, some fees for university, some rent assistance, some money for medication, repair of a radio, some new mobile phones, and, not to forget, plenty of Issey Miyake after shave!
Barkley’s money tree had been shaken vigorously and shed quite a few leaves but now the tree needs a lot of new fertilisation and time to re-grow new leaves before another period of honeymoon can be enacted.
But we also have achieved a few things, gotten a few steps further towards the ultimate goal of local self sufficiency. One day there will be a Stanbic Tree which can be shaken and shed some leaves without depending on Barkley’s foreign specimen.
On the day of my departure – and as some kind of act of handing over responsibility – one of the boys, usually Twahiri or Swaibu drive the car to the airport, instead of me sitting at the wheel. It symbolises the fact that they have to take to the driver’s seat and make their own fortune and their own decisions without me being the ‘leader of the pack’. At present neither of us knows exactly when that will happen. And it is clear to me every time I leave Kampala, that some residue of leadership will probably always rest with me. But a transition is inevitable.
With a last round of hugs at the airport and good wishes for each and everyone of them ends another visit at my Ugandan ‘home from home’. This time the trusted Oyster is radically slimmed down at the weigh - in and if it were South African Airlines, I would claim a rebate!! The number of pieces of luggage has been reduced to two (not counting the pipe bag) And somehow, I start my long trip back home.
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